Are You Aware Of The Various Types Of Domestic Violence?

domestic violence

Disengaging from domestic violence seems easier said than done, particularly when children are involved. Firstly, no one wants to admit there is a problem. Secondly, a woman may fear losing her home or leaving her property behind. There is also a commonly held misperception that the abuser is somehow omnipresent and will catch the woman trying to flee. Thirdly, many women feel that the fighting is normal or that it is just a phase that will blow over. Most abusers belittle their victims so much that they feel they can never find another mate. All these problems confront the abused, but one can still escape before it's too late.

Johnson and Ferraro (2000) classified domestic violence into five different types. The first type is called "Common Couple Violence," where there are one or two incidents of extreme violence that doesn't follow a pattern of attempted control. These abusers (which are 56% male and 44% female) are usually non-violent outside the house and are least likely to be sexually or emotionally violent. The second type is called "Intimate Terrorism," which is a pattern of control and manipulation that involves emotional abuse.

These assailants are more likely to kill their partners and plot revenge following the breakup of a relationship. The third type of domestic violence is "Violent Resistance," where one partner acts controlling and intimidating, while the other partner reacts in violent self-defense. This kind of violence may be a one-time event or a pattern. "Mutual Violent Control" or mutual combat involves two people using violence to control one another. The last domestic violence type is called "Dysphoric-Borderline Violence," which describes a needy, dependent and emotionally imbalanced person who turns to "pitbull" type violence out of frustration, depression, fear of abandonment and neediness.

Other researchers and counselors describe domestic violence as simply being emotional, physical, sexual or financial victimization. Emotional abuse entails name-calling, shouting, threatening, insulting your family and friends, taking your car keys, refusing to work or share money, telling you to leave, abusing pets, lying to manipulate or humiliating you in public. Physical violence is more obvious, with hitting, slapping, biting, choking, hair pulling, striking, pinning you down, throwing things, driving recklessly, refusing you medication, locking you out of the house, threatening you with a weapon or doing anything that would endanger your life. Sexual abuse entails criticizing you sexually, mitigating your personal feelings about sex, insisting on unwanted uncomfortable sex or touching, forced sex after physical violence or during sickness, insisting that you dress sexually, withholding sex or affection "as punishment," or committing outright rape.

Once domestic violence has occurred, you must immediately begin planning how to get out. While you prepare to leave, take photo documentation of injuries sustained during a violent episode, take pictures of damaged property if applicable and write down everything that happened. Tell someone what is happening to you. If you are injured, then go in for care. Be sure your children are safe at a friend's house or at least locked in their room. Hopefully, you have saved some emergency money, saved a spare set of keys and have kept your financial documents, medication, identification and important documents together, ready to go. While it may seem difficult to imagine leaving, there is no way to live happily and healthily in an abusive situation.